Touch Me
by GiulietteRose
Summary: Wendla's thoughts and feelings during the hayloft scene. my first in a while, so its probably really bad/rusty. NO FLAMES. but please comment.


_Where I go, when I go there. _

_No more memory anymore. _

_Only drifting on some ship. _

_The wind that whispers of the distance to shore. _

When she saw him her heart sped-up. When she looked at his tear stricken face, her heart stopped all together.

But, why was he crying? She was the one who initiated it! She was the one who actually got hurt!

Was this because he cared about her?

She walked into the hayloft tentatively.

"So here you are." The words poured out of her mouth in a voice she didn't recognize.

"Go away. Please." His voice was harsh and hurtful.

"There's a storm coming you know, you can't sit sulking in some hayloft." She wanted things to be as they were, when they were little children, _babies even_.

"Out." But this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted her gone.

"Everyone's at Church. Rehearsing for our Michaelmas Choral, I slipped out." She wanted him to know that she did this for him she didn't want to be at church with the other people in the town.

"Yes, well." Every hateful word was a knife in her chest. The one person that she cared most about didn't want her.

"Your friend Moritz Stiefel is absent. Someone said he's been missing all day…" she thought that this piece of news would catch his attention.

"I expect he's had his fill of Michaelmas!" Yet, more hate poured out of his mouth.

"Perhaps. You know I have your journal." This was sure to catch his attention.

"You do?" she was right, he lifted his tear streaked face and their eyes locked with each other, sea foam green in chocolate brown."

"You left it! The other day…I confess I tried reading part of it—" the sad honest truth was unstoppable.

"Just leave it. Please." His voice lightened enough for her to know that he wasn't angry with her as he was with himself. She climbed up further into the hayloft and drew herself closer to him.

"Melchior. I am sorry about what happened. _Truly I am_. I understand why you'd be angry, with me I don't know what I was thinking!" now was her opportunity to apologize, once and for all.

"Don't." But he wouldn't take it.

"But how can I not?" Persistent, she tried again.

"Please, please _don't._ We were confused. We were both just—" He was letting it go; a sigh of relief left her lips, but this was not over. There was still something bothering him. She planned to get that out of him.

"But it was my fault that—" she knew he had forgiven her, but she was so nervous that he would change his mind.

"Don't—please—no! It was me—all me! Something in me started when I hit you." And here it was, he hadn't forgiven her, he didn't think it was her fault at all! He was blaming _himself_.

"Something in me too." She could not let him do this, this was not his fault!

"But I hurt you—" _So what?_

"Yes, but still—"

"No more! My god, no more! Just…please! You should go." He was persistent too. He wanted her to be gone just as much as she wanted to stay.

"Wont you come out to the meadow now Melchior? It's dark in here and stuffy. We can run through the rain! Get soaked through the skin and not even care!" Her final word, if he didn't take it this time, she would get up, and walk home.

"Forgive me." She couldn't believe that she actually did it! She cracked him.

"It was me…all _me_." she pulled his heat to her breast, her heart rate quickening with his head there.

"I can hear your heartbeat Wendla." She was sure he could, her heart was pulsing at an unbelievable pace. Even she could hear it in her own ears. "No matter where I am…I hear it beating."

"And I hear yours—" suddenly, without warning, Melchior pressed his lips against Wendla's "Melchior …no wait…no!" What was she doing? Her parents didn't express this kind of affection! Why was she doing so now?

"Wendla!" He wanted her, he really wanted her. She could hear the dominant thirst in his voice of utter lust. But she couldn't give in.

He kissed her with so much utter passion and desire that she couldn't resist kissing him back.

_Where I go_

_When I go there_

_No more shadows anymore_

_Only you there in the kiss _

_And nothing missing as you're drifting to shore_

"Wait! Stop…I cant we're not supposed to!" there was something wrong about what they were doing…this wasn't right.

"What? Not supposed to what? _Love_? I don't know! Is there such a thing? I hear your heart…I feel your breathing…everywhere—the rain…the hay…please? Please Wendla!"

She understood one hundred percent what he wanted of her, he wanted to show her that he loved her, that he wasn't lying.

"Melchi, no! It's just—its—" she pulled away once again.

"What? _Sinful_?"

"No! I—I don't know!" this was all too confusing for her, she didn't know what to say!

"Then why? Because it's _good_? _Because it makes us feel something_? Don't be scared."

She fell on her back; he was lying on top of her and kissing her with all of his love. His hand snapped to her breast.

"No…" If kissing wasn't right to do out of marriage, then wouldn't touching be downright sinful?

"Please—"

But he wanted to, what was she so afraid would happen? She wanted him! Was she afraid that she would be shunned by God and be sent to hell before her time?

"Don't…it…" After she had pushed his hand off her body, she realized that in the few seconds that it was there, nothing happened! All she felt was pleasure!

"What?" She took his hand in hers and gently rested it on her chest. He gave a small triumphant squeeze. Then he untied her dress, leaving her with just her undergarments to cover her breasts. He then untied that, opening it to its full extent, leaving her bare. Her breasts reacted to the cold immediately.

Suddenly he sat up and spread her legs apart, leaving her most intimate part almost completely exposed to him.

"Wait…"

"It's just me…just me."

He pushed aside her chemise, and placed his middle and index finger to her folds. Without any hesitation he pushed them into her core. It felt better than anything that she had ever felt before; it was a strange sensation, but nonetheless wonderful.

"Now there…now that's!"

"Yes?" he asked inquiring whether she liked it or not.

"Yes." There was her permission. It slipped out of her mouth, but she would never regret to saying it. He went back and kissed her again. This time it was hearty and loving.

He sat back once again and parted her legs, this time unbuttoning his trousers. Then he pulled them down, exposing his member to her. She had never seen anything like it before, it was long and thick, and looked much different than what she had between her legs. He pushed inside her. She felt the terrible pain of the tearing in her body.

"Melchior! Oh!"

_Touch me,_

_Just like that. _

_And that—oh yeah_

_Now that's heaven_

_Now that I like—god that's so nice_

_Now lower down._

_Where the figs lie. _


End file.
